How to Kill, Embalm, and Bury Your Sunday School
Don’t go. If you do go, be late. If it is too wet, or too dry, or too hot, or too cold to go, publicize the fact. When you go, be sure to find fault. Refuse every invitation to help, then tell how forward and overbearing those are who do help. Never encourage the other
Church Bulletin Humor
King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon was astonished that the hungry lions had not eaten Daniel. He summoned Daniel and promised him that if he would reveal his secret, the king would give him his freedom. “It was easy, your excellency,” Daniel said. “I went around and whispered in each lion’s ear — ‘After dinner, there will
The 23rd Psalm: A New Approach
The Lord is my Shepherd — That’s RELATIONSHIP!I shall not taunt — That’s SUPPLY!He maketh me to lie down in green pastures. That’s REST!He leadeth me beside still waters — That’s REFRESHMENT!He restoreth my soul — That’s HEALING!He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness — That’s GUIDANCE!For His name’s sake — That’s PURPOSE!Yea, though
The Dieter’s Prayer
Lord grant me the strengthThat I may not fallInto the clutches of cholesterol.The road to hell is paved with butter,Cake is cursed, cream is awfulAnd Satan is hiding in every waffle.Beelzebub is a chocolate drop,Lucifer is a lollipop.Teach me the evils of Hollandaise,Of pasta and gobs of mayonnaise,And crisp fried chicken from the south.If you
“Little Christians”
10 Little Christians standing in a line, One disliked the preacher, then there were 9. 9 little Christians stayed up very late, One slept in on Sunday, then there were 8. 8 little Christians on the road to heaven, One took the lower road leaving only 7. 7 little Christians got in
A Little Bear
There’s something in a simple hug That always warms the heart It welcomes us back home And makes it easier to part. A hug’s a way to share the joy And sad times we go through Or just a way for friends to say They like you ‘cause you’re you. Hugs are meant for anyone
Time For Prayer
I knelt to pray but not for long, I had too much to do. I had to hurry and get to work For bills would soon be due. So I knelt and said a hurried prayer, And jumped up off my knees. My Christian duty was now done My soul could rest at ease. All