1. Don’t go.
2. If you do go, be late.
3. If it is too wet, or too dry, or too hot, or too cold to go, publicize the fact.
4. When you go, be sure to find fault.
5. Refuse every invitation to help, then tell how forward and overbearing those are who do help.
6. Never encourage the other officers; criticize them and tell others how you would do the job.
7. Never take part in the service.
8. Point out all the mistakes you can to workers and teachers and condemn them for making such mistakes.
9. Never put more than three cents in the offering. If you had no pennies with you last Sunday, don’t give twice as much this Sunday.
10. Believe everything you hear about the Sunday School without any investigation.
11. Wear a sour face to show your disapproval of everything that’s going on.
12. Stalk out of church as soon as Sunday School is over. Don’t speak to anyone.

— S.S. Counselllor.